Friday, March 1, 2013
What Hope Looks Like
I know the feeling of hopelessness and depths of it's despair. However, I'm also well acquainted with it's opposite, and I'm now in a state of Hopefulness. It's a true hope and desire of my heart to have a live baby placed in my arms one day. Greater still, I hope for so much more than that. Most of all, I look forward to seeing the glory that God will receive, regardless of the outcome for me or my family. It's a struggle in this human flesh to be hopeful of things that may or may not benefit us. However, I feel that it should be our desire to want God's will to be fulfilled and His glory revealed, no matter the cost.
This thought reminds me of the day when my heart was pierced with the words of one of Ellie's prayers. It was a few days after Zion died and we were so heartbroken, including little Ellie. Her heart was so crushed as she cried out to God in her prayer. Then those words that have forever changed me came ringing from her tiny lips. She cried "God we really miss our baby Zion........ but God.....we still love You!" It broke my heart to hear her love and devotion overwhelm her pain, when, at the time, my view of God seemed so foggy. She was so hurt, yet, even she knew that her only Hope was in God. Out of the mouth of babes right?
So here I sit....writing this and thinking that same thought. I really miss Zion and Selah.....but God...I still love You! I want, and dearly hope for a live and healthy baby, but if not God, I still love You! In this life I've come to the realization that He's the only reason I have been given so much Hope. And in knowing that, I can truly rejoice! This life is so precious and I want it to be filled with so much joy in Him alone, not only in my desires being filled. I pray that we may all place our hope and confidence in the only One that is worthy of our trust.
God has blessed me with this precious baby to be a reminder of the Hope that is within me. I thank the Lord that by our sweet baby's pictures we have been given a glimpse of what Hope looks like.
"And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in thee." Psalms 39:7